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James Barr
Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum)
Saturday 4th April
Trades Hall – Music Room
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Five Stars
The lights dim, and dance music begins to play as James Barr makes his way to the microphone.
Making his Melbourne Comedy Festival debut, James opens up the reality of domestic violence.
He asks the question- Why doesn’t society talk about domestic violence more?
Over the next hour, James opens up about his experience living with a violent partner, and how the man who was meant to love him ( and his dog Camilla Barker Bowls) became the monster who abused him.
And while James tells the story, at times holding back tears he manages to pepper in enough humour to make the audience feel comfortable. However, there are times when the story becomes too heavy and the room is silenced and weighed down by the burden of James’ pain.
There is something so brave about a man talking about his abuse, an experience that seems still a little fresh for James, who speaks candidly, with a little nervousness to his voice. He’s unsure how this will land, but he does a great job.
At times he is a little self deprecating, however from the moment he takes to the microphone James is instantly likeable. Well presented, very articulate and funny there is a hint of vulnerability that bubbles beneath the surface that makes James an intriguing yet loveable character.
At times the audience’s heart breaks for James as he speaks about what he endured and the shame he suffered. When he speaks about being pushed down the stairs, he attempts to soften the blow for the audience, yet we still are holding our breaths in utter disbelief, collectively our hearts broken for this brave young man. If the audience could hug James and take this pain from him, there would be no shortage of volunteers. For James to take a microphone and speak about the unspeakable is courageous.
Studies indicate that around 26% of gay men experience physical violence, stalking, or rape by an intimate partner, gay men are experiencing harm at alarming rates and yet nobody is talking about it. The first man to do a comedy show about the topic, James is breaking new ground, normalising men opening up about their pain.
He delves into how easy it is to ignore red flags, to dismiss the truth and stay, because of love and hope. Anyone who has experienced a violent relationship knows the words James speaks are painfully true. He isn’t analytical or dissecting it, he merely speaks his truth candidly. James doesn’t seek validation or an explanation, merely an education of sorts, and answer to the unanswered question of – Why did you stay? He articulates it very well, even when his voice falters.
His performance is polished, leaving room for improvisation and connection to the audience. When the story becomes too much, James carefully takes moment to compose himself, making the subject matter hit a little harder – this isn’t someone telling jokes to make us laugh, it’s someone seeking a little healing in his own way.
It is said that laughter is the best medicine, and with each laugh one can only hope that James can heal his heart a little more, and that we the audience can help him carry his burden, so it’s not so heavy. We can only hope that one day it will become much lighter for James to bear, the scars healing from something nobody should have to live through.
After all he endured at the hands of his partner, James should be nothing but congratulated for his raw emotional performance, brutal yet brilliant and his unwavering determination to speak his truth so that it might help someone else.
James Barr makes an exceptional debut into the Melbourne Comedy Festival and his show Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) is brave, memorable and brilliantly delivered.
Nominee for Best Show at the ISH Edinburgh Comedy Awards, NextUp’s Biggest Award in Comedy and the Queer Performers Award at the 2025 Edinburgh Fringe, Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) was also named one of the best reviewed shows of Edinburgh Fringe.
Showing Now.
Words by Amanda Lee Starkey
