Armed with a high energy live show, songs from a forgotten century, and a terrible band name, The Barren Spinsters are the kind of band that Jack White would maybe join if he lowered his standards.

 They look like a two-piece, sound like a five piece, and move like a hair piece. Front man Brendon Houlahan plays guitar with his hands, bass with his feet, and sings with his face. Matt Tennant belts the drums really hard, sings a little bit, and wears really dumb shirts while doing it. Together, The Barren Spinsters deliver 70s blues rock with a modern thrashy twist. Much the same way that Wolfmother doesn’t. 

 Their new single ‘Hey Ruth’, from the band’s upcoming debut album ‘Ten Steps To Cynical Thinking’, can now be heard on all good streaming platforms. Maybe even some of the bad ones.

My Dream Rider by The Barren Spinsters

Upon Arrival:

· The remaining cast of ‘The Love Boat’ to ceremoniously fire Matt from the band.

· Cheap wine.

· A three-day growth.

· 5kg bag of peanuts & an EpiPen.

· Ventolin. (Seretide is preferred)

· Access to a saltwater indoor heated wave pool, also known in German as a ‘Meerwasserhallenwellenschwimmbad’

· Bowlful of gummi bears, sorted by occupation.

· All the bar staff to shout ‘Yahtzee’ every time we walk into the room.

· Assorted dusts and pollens.


Upon Departure:

· The entire cast of ‘Sister Act 2’ to re-hire matt into the band (at reduced pay) via an uplifting 90’s gospel ballad about abstaining from sexual intercourse.

· Someone to remove all the stale air from our car tyres and replace it with fresh air for our journey ahead.

· Orange Juice.

· Apple Juice.

· ‘Juice’ on DVD.

· 2 litre bottle of small talk for the drive home.

· Jumper leads.


The Cynical Thinking Tour

Thursday 11 July – Smiths, Canberra

Saturday 20 July – Jambaroo Music Festival

Saturday 27 July – 1895 The Royal – Echuca Blues Fest

Sunday 28 July – Hopwood Gardens – Echuca Blues Fest

Friday 2 August – Marrickville Bowls Club, Marrickville

Saturday 3 August – Smiths, Canberra

Sunday 4 August – Bridge Rd Brewers, Beechworth

Saturday 24 August – Capital Brewery, Canberra

Friday 4 October – Caloundra Music Festival

Saturday 5 October – Caloundra Music Festival

Sunday 6 October – Caloundra Music Festival

Saturday 19 October – Smiths Alternative, Canberra

Saturday 16 November – Healesville Music Festival

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